Joe’s Weekly, Legnthy and Funny LOST Review (You’ll like it)

Mirror Mirror in My Sweet Digs

Hey Jackie boy you love your own handsomeness don’t you? Look at you looking at you. A mirror. Jack’s like a parakeet, obsessed with his refection in the mirror… or is he actually reflecting, while gazing at his reflection in the mirror. Hmmm… let’s reflect on that.

I love when they have mirrors on this show. Mirrors can be so symbolic, (One looking into one’s own soul) so mythological, (Medusa) so fantastical, (Alice in Wonderland.) Plus I called the whole mirror thing way back when.

In the mirror at Safe Landing Universe Jack’s swanky L.A. pad, Jack is perplexed at the appendix scar he has been carrying around with him for apparently decades. You’d think a doctor would recall having an appendectomy at 8 years old, especially if his father, the overbearing perfectionist, made such a fuss over wanting to operate on him. It’s still only the beginning for SLU Jack but he’s starting to pick up on the signs that this isn’t the life he’s supposed to lead. Or rather this isn’t the only life he’s supposed to lead.

More Daddy Issues for Jack

Oh yeah, and in this life, Jack has a 12 year old kid. To borrow a phrase from Liz Lemon, “What the What?!?” That’s a hell of surprise. Locke’s real dad apparently didn’t throw him from a high rise and Jack has a kid. And his name is David… AND he thinks Jack’s a big tool.

So who do you think this kid’s mother is? Is it his first wife Sarah? Is it Juliet? (It can’t be, but I’ll throw it in there.) Is it Ana Lucia? Nah the kid isn’t that annoying. Is it someone we’ve seen before? Yeah probably. And it’s probably Sarah.

Sayid Is Terminal

It looks like Sayid is indeed “becoming infected.” Jack finally trusts Dogen now for some reason. (He should have trusted him already, but I’ve made my feelings known about that) Jack is now looking at Sayid like a terminally ill patient. The “infection” still hasn’t claimed Sayid, so there’s still enough of the real Sayid in there that Jack feels a responsibility to shoot straight with him, but to Jack, Sayid is either already as good as dead, or worse for the “good guys,” a potential opponent down the road.

We Now Know Who We’re Rooting For… Or Do We?

I say “good guys,” because I believe these writers have finally given us enough clues to buy into the Jacob really is a good guy angle. There can’t be any more debate. It really was was pretty obvious up until now, but still a little too obvious to be obviously obvious. Tonight’s episode however let me know it’s so obvious that Jacob is a good guy, and Sayid is infected with bad guy stuff. Unless that’s just what they want us to think.

Another confirmation tonight – this time near the glyphs (they have to mean something, but I’m not an archeologist, so if someone knows, feel free to write in) behind the Lazarus Pit — Hurley actually does talk to dead people. Pretty cool when even the great Dogen feels humbled before Hurley the Seer. There’s Hurley talking to Dogen with Jacob standing over his shoulder telling him the right things to say. It was like watching an old episode of The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. It makes me yearn for more Charles Nelson Reilly on television. R.I.P. Chuck. (On a side note, I love this video.)

Pushing Buttons

Wow does Jacob know Jack’s buttons. He almost smiled when Hurley asked him to help him with convincing Jack. Did you see Jack’s face when Hurley mentioned to Jack that Jacob told him, the opposite of what his dad grew up telling him?

“You have it in you.” I couldn’t help but think that was the mantra that Jack had in his head when he realized he wanted to be a father. He was going to prove to his own father that Jack had it in him to be a supportive father.

When Jack heard Jacob’s message through Hurley, Jack felt angry, violated, and vulnerable. Jacob just intentionally drilled on Jack’s last raw nerve and now Jack is looking like he wants to punch Jacob in the face.

As a matter of fact, Jack has that look on his face at least every other episode, which boils down to approximately Jack wanting to punch every tenth person he encounters. How hair trigger is this guy that he wants to punch one out of every ten people he encounters? Hell, I’m a walking ball of repressed grey haired ball of Irish Catholic fury most of the time and I only want to punch about one out of every twenty people I interact with.

And while I’m still on Jack, I loved the reference to Kitty and Snowdrop — Alice’s two cats who transformed into the Red and White queens in Wonderland. Opposite forces, or mirror images of each other.

Who is He?

So who does Jacob now want brought to the island? Last year, after Ben stabbed him he said “they” were coming, but now Jacob only seems to be concerned with a single individual. Who is it? Maybe Desmond? Maybe Des and Penny, maybe Des and Penny and Widmore.

Mommy Issues

Jack isn’t the only single parent who has found raising a child to be difficult. Look at his half sister Claire. Her name seemed to partially register with SLU Jack when his mother mentioned her while going over Christian’s will. And by the way, did anyone else think Veronica Hamel had lovely hands for a woman of her age?

I apologize we all had to find out about my newest fetish at this time, but she has a great set of hands for an old lady.

And what about Claire? She’s turned into Rousseau – dynamite sticks and all. And whoa, was that 3-year old beach-worn bassinet creepy as hell or what?

I was half expecting a zombified baby for some reason, but that wouldn’t have made sense. What did make sense, in the saddest most morbid ways of all, is Claire building a substitute baby out of old animal pelts and the skull of what I’m assuming was that old polar bear.

Has Claire been “mothering” that thing for 3 years. Claire’s not only been infected, she is seriously now become one crazy bitch. I know two or three crazy Claire types who frequent this dive bar I hang out at in Westminster California, The Rebel Room. I wouldn’t be surprised if they all didn’t have bear skull babies at home. Seriously Jin, you want to stay away from girls who pretend bear skulls are their infant sons.

Sad note about me is I prefer to hang out in bars with the certifiably insane. I enjoy my time in the company of drunken lunatics. It makes me feel superior.

And I feel this is confirmed as well. Claire is dead. She said as much when she was stitching Jin’s gnarly leg back up. If there’s one thing that will kill you on this island, Crazy Dead Claire warned Jin, it’s infection.

She then proceeded to drive an axe right through Other Justin’s barrel chest. I’m telling you Jin, I know these axe-swingin,’ bear skull mothers from the Rebel Room. They are evil, and they are nuts.

These Are The Good Ol’ Days

La-di-da you’re trekking through the island with Hurley for the bajillionth time in 108 episodes (yes this was installment 108 overall in the series.) and one of your plane crash pals pulls a gun on you and almost shoots you dead.

“Oh Jack, you silly thing, I almost but a bullet in your head. Ha ha ha.”

“I know. That’s so funny. It’s just like the time I almost I almost put a bullet in your head. Remember? Boy we almost shoot each other a lot of this island. We’re crazy like that.”

None for All, and All for None

Kate confesses to Jack that Jin and Sawyer are on their own, and neither one seems likely to head back to the temple. Jack isn’t all that interested in them, but tries to persuade Kate to come with them. Kate isn’t going along.

“We had some fun jungle adventures in the past Jack. Like remember that time I almost shot you? Good times. But I’m gonna do my own thing now.”

And then Kate actually says to Jack, “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” That one line contains a whole lot of meaning. It’s as if Kate now realizes it’s time to focus on her quest, and not let anything interfere with that mission. She knows Jack has his own demons to vanquish, and they can’t rely on each other for this, and maybe any other mission in the future.

Matter of fact, it looks like they’re all ready to quit the band and do solo albums. Looks like Jack’s passionate speech about staying together or dying alone may have been a bad message. They all need to focus in on what their speicific purpose in life is. They can’t get swept up in one another’s problems… no more kissing you or kissing him until we do what we have to do and maybe not even then.

Robin Hood and Little John Walkin’ Through the Forest. Golly What a Day.

It was nice to hear Hurley acknowledge the great jungle adventures of the first couple seasons. Those were exciting times. Being tied up with bags over your head, people shooting at you, smoke monsters, running people over in your hippie van. Damn good times. As if all those reasons weren’t good enough, Hurley asks Jack why he voluntarily came back to the island, but Jack, still new at this man of faith thing makes Hurley tells his story first.

Hurley offers the short and simple truth. Jacob and he shared a cab and Jacob asked him to go back. Hurley didn’t fight Jacob on the issue. He agreed with very little resistance. Perhaps Hurley is more receptive to the good than Jack.

Jacob can just ask Hurley to put his faith in him and Hurley won’t question what Jacob requires, because Hurley is a man of faith. Hurley doesn’t question, he’s receptive.

This is no different than what most major religions require of their faithful. It’s a pretty standard boilerplate “If you open yourself to God’s love, you will know the kingdom of heaven” type of thing.

Hurley is the fertile soil and the word of the Lord grows there with little trouble. Jack is the rocky terrain. His garden requires more tending.

All Along The Watchtower

So our intrepid wanderers encounter a lighthouse they have curiously never seen before. Jack wonders aloud to Hurley why they’d never seen this lighthouse in all their previous journeys, to which Hurley responds with all the wisdom that feels at home in both the Old Testament and that old 70’s show, Kung Fu. They haven’t noticed it before because, “we never looked for it before.”

Kickin’ It In, Old School.

As they reach the door, our heroes realize Jacob didn’t provide Hurley with a key, so Jack commences to do what Jack loves to do. Jack kicked the door down. Jack’s a whiz at kicking doors down. Give Jack an old locked door and he’ll kick it down faster than anyone. (Unless Sayid’s standing next to him, then they seem to take turns.) Dude’s almost looking for shut doors just so he can kick some down.

Of course we’re talking about physical doors here. Jack loves to kick down a physical door, but in 6 seasons of this show Jack couldn’t kick a metaphorical door down if it were metaphorically made of Styrofoam. Metaphorical doors kick Jack in. Up until this episode.

We’ve just seen Jack look into his own reflection and realize what he must do. Both metaphorically and in every day terms. Jack needs to start kicking in doors… and smashing a few mirrors while he’s at it for good measure.

Another Kind of Candidate

Meanwhile back in the SLU, we find out that Jack’s son took off for a piano try-out at a local conservatory. Seems David is a “candidate.” Jack raced there to see him perform his piece, and dear ol’ dad could barely contain his joy. Another proud papa was SLU Dogen, who probably isn’t a samurai at all on this universe. He looked a little like a suit salesman I knew when I worked at JC Penney’s in my college days. You guys don’t know this guy, but Dogen looked just like him. Good guy… he always gave me a deal on socks and underwear.

Ok, that was slightly off tangent. Dogen couldn’t help but share how the he felt the pressure on kids can be unfair. Jack later finds out from David that despite all promises he must have made to himself as he was growing up and planning on how he would be a good father, Jack unintentionally repeated the sins of Christian.

Sweating the Details

At the top of the lighthouse, Hurley is literally sweating the details — right off his chubby forearm. Jack is spinning the Wheel of Misfortune and every now and then he gets a glimpse of something behind him, and it isn’t the ocean. At one tiny interval there’s what looks to be Sun’s father’s estate. Another rotation and we see the steeple of the Ford family church. Jack doesn’t give a shit about 108. He needs to check out #23. That’s the number Jack’s name coordinates with on the wheel.

It’s the house Jack grew up in, and Hurley sees it too. This is too much for Jack He hasn’t wanted to punch someone for 40 minutes. It’s about to want to punch. He can’t punch Hurley. Hurley’s just the messenger. But he can smash the mirrors. He can break Jacob’s mirrors the way Jack feels Jacob broke him. Which as it turns out was all part of Jacob’s plan to begin with. Man that guy is good at pushing the right buttons.

Jacob is Good Because Claire is Evil.. and Dead. (At Least Metaphorically Dead)

Meanwhile back at Camp Crazy Corpse Claire, Jin has just figured out how Claire is no longer one of the good guys, and he hatches a plan to lure Claire back to the Temple. A temple that Claire somehow escaped before – a temple in which Claire was subjected to many of the same tests as Sayid just went thorugh.

And if we needed any further proof that Smlocke/MIB was evil, Crazy Corpse Claire corrected Jin when he wrongly assumed the guy walking into camp was John Locke. “That’s not John,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “this is my friend.”

ALSO, Why I Think You Can’t Call Ben a Villain.

A few of us were having a spirited discussion on whether Ben is good or evil. I believe this type of argument is what makes this show great, because even if the writers came out tomorrow and told us if he’s good or evil, the debate could still continue with each side making valid points.

I’m not sure of the death tally, but I Sawyer has more kills than just Anthony Cooper and the innocent food vendor guy. Sawyer killed Mr. Friendly I bet Mr. Friendly’s family would believe the man who killed Mr. Friendly was a bad man.

And that’s the point this show makes. Good and Evil is all about your particular point of view. Of course we think of Adolf Hitler as an evil man, and we should, but what these guys have done is taken someone we could interpret as Hitler and say look at this guy Ben, he had lofty motives for his genocide.

Please don’t anyone write me and say I’m saying Hitler had lofty motives… I will assume I’m speaking to a hip, smart crowd or you wouldn’t be here. But it is interesting how a writer, and an actor can skew perception to make a Hitler-like character seem either sympathetic, or maybe even innocent because he was answering to a higher calling.

Americans in 1945 (at least the overwhelming majority) didn’t think Harry Truman was evil when he leveled Hiroshima killing and maiming up to 200,000 Japanese, (many civilians and many of them women and children) and destroying the lives of countless more not to mention crippling their economy for decades. We here in the USA think of Harry as a good guy. My guess is there’s more than a few Japanese who don’t hold him in quite that same regard.

Perhaps Ben is Truman, and not Hitler.

Perception, ladies and gentlemen…. perception.

Until Next Week

So until next week, fire up your Hi-Def TV, (Imperative if you’re expecting to make sense out of glyphs you have no idea how to interpret.) make sure you hit the record function on your TiVo, (For multiple viewings, purposes immediately after watching the show the first time.) keep your laptop nearby, (You’ll never know when you might need check out long forgotten characters from a Lewis Carroll story) load up that bong, (For some of us, LOST isn’t our only drug of choice.) and get ready to get LOST.

If you liked this article, check out Joe Oesterle’s review of the 1974 classic, “Towering Inferno.” It may be 36 years too late, but it takes that long to write a review this good.

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Joe Oesterle is an award winning writer and illustrator, but what he often fails to mention is that many of those awards were won on a New Jersey boardwalk, shooting a water pistol into the mouth of a plastic clown in an effort to be the first to pop the balloon. Joe has been the Art Director and Senior Editor of the National Lampoon, and his work has appeared in television, radio, books (including Weird California), magazines, and web sites. Joe also has a number of years of experience in both the apparel industry and the advertising world as an Art Director. He has remained relatively unharmed by the experiences. He also wrote, directed, and performed in an animated short that is on display at the Smithsonian Institution. If you are a high powered Hollywood mogul on the look-out for a sheer comic and artistic genius, contact him here, or at He is not much of a business man, so you could probably cheat him out of some brilliant ideas. (Of which he has plenty.) And Don’t forget to check out the rest of this site. Stories, Illustrations, photography, animation, plus lots more….. actually very little more than that…. but come on…. that’s a lot. Just click the Home page, and scroll deep.

5 thoughts on “Joe’s Weekly, Legnthy and Funny LOST Review (You’ll like it)

  1. @AnnaCee, thank you for the kind words. Glad you enjoyed the read.

    @nachochris, oo-da-lolly, indeed. I love that movie… Phil Harris had such an amazing voice. Both speak and singing.

  2. @Odette, you honor me. Thank you. You can check out my work at (I review other shows there and also write articles…. they deal in mostly sci-fi, fantasy, action genres.

    My own site is, and you can always check out my blog – which is filled with my writing as well as animations I’ve done, illustrations, photography.

    ALSO, I have a book coming out. It’s entitled, “Weird Hollywood.” It’s a cool eclectic coffee table book on urban legends, local celebrities, real celebrities, UFO, unique architecture, etc. I also wrote WEird California and Weird Las Vegas.

    Please let me know if you check them out.

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