108 Reasons why the Island is NOT a spaceship
Ok everybody, I thought this would be a fun post to put in the “Just for Fun” category. I’m gathering from many of the theories and comments that most of us (chief, scrollLocke, AES, Sawyergirl, obsessedWlost, myself, and I’m sure many others..) are hoping with hope above all hopes that the island is NOT a spaceship or alien in nature.
I feel more hopeful when I can think of any evidence that the island is NOT a spaceship. I don’t think I can come up with 108 reasons myself, but maybe we could put our heads together!
So here’s what I’m asking of all you Island-is-not-a-Spaceship believers; please post a reason/evidence in your comment that the island is NOT a spaceship. It could be funny, it could be sound evidence… Please place only one per comment, that way each reason/evidence is numbered as the comments are numbered. But please feel free to put more than one comment, I’m hoping we can get to 108!
When Ben and Locke turned the wheel, the island “moved”, but at least it didn’t blast off!
The runway the Others built was meant for Aijira flight to land, and not for Aliens, as Juliet jokingly said in Season 3.
Mulder and Scully have never investigated or even heard of the island.
Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum have not been sent to destroy it…..
I doubt the writers want blood on their hands from a mass suicide. (Great topic by the way)
Nobody has been anally probed while on the Island…..
The US Government have not denied all knowledge of the existance of the Island….
A few blockbuster movies have come out within the past three to four years that have ended with a surprise spaceship. Not many people reacted in a positive way. I assume Hollywood/Disney has learned some lessons.
Scott Wolf hasn’t done a news report about it.
Jacob hates technology, and Smokie was once a “man” assuming the asshole wasn’t lying. Therefore, the two enigmas are most likely Earth oriented.
Back in 2000, Anne Heche declared she was God and would take everyone back to heaven in her spaceship. She’s never been seen on the island.
Elizabeth Mitchell only interacts with aliens while wearing leather.
I don’t know anyone that owns a shotgun. So it’s simply just not meant to be that I’d blow my brains out on May 23rd.
Destiny’s only a fickle bitch in TV shows.
The Doctor hasn’t shown up to repair it.
The Borg haven’t shown up to assimilate it.
#16 by Eko73
Space is a vacuum: surely therefore any explosion would not register to the human ear. Freighter / Plane / Submarine / Artz / Ilana – all those bangs would be silent, right?
oh man, all of you are cracking me up! Got some good ones here…Favorite one for sure is chief’s shotgun (or lack of..)
Ok came up with couple more:
In the Looking Glass, when Charlie figured out the code to turn off the radio jammer, it was the melody of “Good Vibrations” by Beach Boys, and not theme from Close Encounters..
In the Season Six opener, thank God the camera zoomed out airplane window then down into ocean and showed island at ocean bottom, rather than camera zoom out airplane window then go UP into outer space and show island revolving in orbit around earth
Although Lapidus is awesome pilot and can fly jets and helicopters, there hasn’t been a scene where somebody asked him why he wanted to fly and he answers “because I’ve always loved flying, and it’s been my childhood dream to become a pilot, and then eventually an astronaut, and fly the space shuttle maybe. It must be incredible to fly in outer space” (Lapidus then gazes at the stars in the night sky..)
the source of power on the Island seems to be Emag radiation. It is not powered a Di-Lithium crystal warp drive…..
The occupants of the Island did not “come in peace”
Only two inhabitants have lived long and none have prospered.
there are no Klingons off the starboard bow.
After first opening the hatch and looking inside no one said “My God! It’s full of stars!”
No one has found a copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy lying about.
No one has found a transporter to use to leave the Island.
there haven’t been any unexplained sightings (filmed using a poor quality camera i might add) of Island shaped objects hovering in the night sky….
(btw i think its a race between me and Achalli atm for the most responses!!!)
None of the children on the island have been deemed “The Navigator”.
There is no evidence that Erich Von Daniken has ever investigated the Island.
Nor is there any evidence for Zacharia Sitchin investigating it also.
Not one character has mentioned the word THETAN.
Aliens prefer to drive a Galaxy over driving an Island.
And Sigorney Weaver has never been on the Island.
Because George Lucas is not directing the last episode (thanks God!).
Because when you look up “aliens” in Lostpedia, which is the supreme resource for all things Lost, you get routed to the page “debunked theories”!!
Because all of the movies I know of that JJ Abrams produced had some kind of Alien or outer space connection; Cloverfield, Star Trek, Armagedon, and now his new one coming out “Super 8” (just saw preview of it tonight when I saw Iron Man II..)…well back to what I was saying; because they all have an obvious outerspace connection-theme, he obviously wanted to produce a superb show that had absolutely none whatsoever absolutely not not not no no way connection whatsover to space or anything alien!
We have seen some crazy things on Lost, but still no Jar Jar Binks. I was getting worried that MIB/Locke was going to pull out the line, “Jack I am your Father”. Right then and there I would have asked Chiefof16 to borrow his shotgun.
Because ABC already has a show on primetime called “V” that is about aliens and spaceships.
Because after Desmond turns the key we never saw astronaut Gus Grissom totter out of the surf yelling “It just blew! the damn hatch just blew all by itself!”
Although weve seen some crazy cathloic stuff, and some egyptian nonsense, non of the people are stupid enough to be scientologists
When they pushed the button a small sign didn’t light up that said ‘PLEASE DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON AGAIN.’
When the freighter launched Faraday’s missiles they didn’t turn into a bowl of petunias and a very surprised looking whale.
Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones haven’t shown up to impound it yet.
Because no one has turned to Saywer and said, “It’s worse than that. He’s dead, Jim.”
Because nobody has found the schematics to the island with the one weak spot enabling it to be destroyed…
(I can say that I would probably take a geologist for that…)
Because Jack hasnt kissed his sister before finding out he is the son of the evilest man in the universe…
Because Claire never tied her hair into cinabuns on the side of her head…and because Charlie is no Hans Solo…
oh..oh…because Jack left his lightsaber laying on the ground beside his head in the pilot…
Marvin hasn’t parked it at Milliway’s
It’s not shaped like a shoe. (Look up the description of the Heart of Gold in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy for that reference )
Ricardo Montebohn hasn’t used the Island to attack the Enterprise.
Mike, Tom Servo, and Crow have not been found on the Island watching movies.
We haven’t seen David Bowman banging on the hatch yelling “Open the pod bay doors Hal!”
Because although we haven’t yet seen Meatloaf singing Hot Patootie or Christopher Biggins doing the Time Warp, it could still end with the following voiceover. And if it does I’ll be heading for the nearest time machine to get the last five years back.
“…And crawling, on the planet’s face, some insects called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space… and meaning.”
When MIB was gathering recruits he never asked….”How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?”
“I knew it. I’m surrounded by assholes!”
No aliens would be stupid enough to land on a planet where people like Frogurt exist.
When they opened the hatch they didn’t find it stuffed with tribbles.
No one has found controls for an Infinite Improbability Drive on the Island.
Nobody had to talk to Jughead and teach it the basics of Phenomenology. (Google ‘Dark Star’ for this one)
Because the Others arent “damn dirty apes……” Well not in the literal sense.
Because while this may be MIB or Jacob’s “Plan 9”, Ed Wood hasn’t directed any of the episodes.
While the beaches on the island may be beautiful – they certainly aren’t Shell Beach.
Daleks don’t operate well in a jungle.
We don’t see Lawrence Fishborn anywhere yelling “Vacate! I want off this ship!”
Tom Hanks hasn’t walked out of the jungle saying “Houston, we have a problem. “
When Jack first woke up in the jungle, he was woken up by Vincent the dog, not an Ewok with a spear.
It would be a pretty oddly shaped spaceship
Because it would SUCK!
Because we never saw Tom Friendly “floating in a most peculiar way”
Because the show isn’t titled “Lost (in Space)”
Because no one’s been tied up with AstroKnots.
It hasn’t been featured on Coast to Coast AM with George Noory.
Even the Professor couldn’t build a warp core out of bamboo and coconut shells.
Eloise hasn’t looked at Faraday, gotten confused and said to him “Data, I’m your mother.” (Fionanulla Flannegin once appeared on ST: TNG as Data’s ‘mother.’)
It doesn’t have Multicluster Quark Drive, Perpulex running boards, or a infrapink lizard emblem on the nuetrino cowling indicating it as a Lazlar LyriKon Custom job.
It’s not cool enough for Zaphod Beeblebrox to steal.
Disaster Area hasn’t shown up wanting to fly the Island into the sun.
Because the pantry held neither Dharma Space Jam nor Spice Melange.
You can hear them scream.
(lol, Space Jam) Because the writers don’t want to win the “Biggest copout ending of all time” Loscar.
No one has found a Pilot’s Den on the Island.
No one has seen a DRD scurrying about the Island fixing things.
Let’s see….polar bears, boars, bunnies with numbers painted on them, spiders, seagulls, spiders, one large black bird, a large, maevalent cloud of black smoke….nope, don’t see any small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
wow everybody, keep ’em coming!
Achalli you are like the trivia machine of alien scifi films and books, I had to look up alot of your ideas in Wikipedia!
Here’s another..
In reference to Waycurious’s #70
Because the show isn’t titled
“Lost (in Space)”
It’s also not called “Loser”
We haven’t seen Dave Lister, Arnold Rimmer, the Cat, or Kryten roaming the Island.
It’s not gleaming white with flashing lights.
Dr. Smith hasn’t shown up to sabotage anything. Oh the pain, the pain.
No characters are wearing old school Nike shoes.
I am not sure of how Dharma disposes of its trash, but so far it is not with trash compactor #3263827!
Locke may be bald, but we don’t see him drinking hot, Earl Grey tea…
The ash lying around on the Island isn’t the members of the crew who have been killed in a massive radiation leak (Red Dwarf).
When Desmond mind flashes he’s never claimed to have been gone for approximately 18 hours nor said, “They should have sent a poet.” (CONTACT)
It was Walt talking to Michael through the hatch computer, not “Jerry/Harry”. (SPHERE)
When they reached the radio tower and went inside they did not find Harry Solomon reciting the numbers to the Big Giant Head.
The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo have not shown up to sing a goodbye song about leaving on a spaceship and then blast off with the Island.
Zach and Emma never tried to escape…let alone escape to Witch Mountain.
Even though Robert Patrick appeared on the show – we’re still in the clear because he never mentioned anything about fire being in the sky.
Although featuring a main character in a wheel chair – there has been no blatant product placement of McDonald’s, Skittles, Coke, or Sears. (MAC and ME)
When the hatch was opened they didn’t find Freeman Lowell, Huey, Duey, and Luey in it.
A Romulan cloaking device hasn’t been found on the Island.
Vincent is a dog, not a robot. ( Google the Disney film ‘The Black Hole)
Scorpius nor the Scarrens have shown up demanding FDW technology to use for wormholes.
The Creeping Terror didn’t emerge from the hatch when it was opened.
Because people have found over 100 reasons why it’s not a spaceship, but not one reason why it is.
Upon entering the statue they didn’t find Jacob in a rocket control room, wearing a gorrilla mask and looking like Patrick MacGoon.
Achalli, who appears to know more about spaceships than any person, ever, is not one of the writers.
While some might have referred to the Cigarette Smoking Man as a monster – the Smoke Monster is not actually made of cigarette smoke.
Maximilian Shell isn’t shooting probes into the center of the Island
Ok – now that we’ve reached 108 – rightfully claimed by Achalli – seriously Achalli…I didn’t get 85% of your references.
Neelix isn’t scavenging parts from the Island (see Star Trek Voyager)
Because it was not directed by Alex Proyas nor does it star Rufus Sewell as Jack. (see Dark City)
no, I mean it! See “Dark City” it is a work of genius!
Andre7 – I love Dark City. See #62.
Phew……Yeah, I didn’t get 95% of them myself. Oh well though. Job well done I say.
I’m going to put together a list of the books, films, and TV shows I referenced. I read a lot and science fiction is my favorite genere.
Scrolllocke you had good ones yourself.
Bobt, thanks for this extremely fun post. I had a blast.
I’m fairly certain I could reference all the same tv shows/movies – and give 108 reasons why the island is a spaceship. Good lord.
I didn’t think we could get to 108! Great work!
One of my favs Waycurious’ “You can hear them scream” Still LOL
Great job everybody! I was going to rename the post 108 Reasons and counting, but I think it’s best to close the curtain on this one!
Although, I really look forward to coming back to this theory after the final episode, and hopefully proclaiming the #1 reason it’s not a spaceship: BECAUSE IT’S FREAKIN’ NOT A SPACESHIP!!
All right, here’s a list of the references I made in this post.
#14 and #63: Doctor Who, the Doctor is always fixing people’s space ships and Daleks are notorious for not being able to operate over rough surfaces.
#2,22,26,51,57,74,100,110 are all Star Trek references. #51 is about Ricardo Montebohn playing Kahn in “The Wrath of Kahn”
#74 references an episode of Star Trek the Next Generation in which the actress who plays Eloise Hawking guest starred as the wife of the scientist that created Data.
#57 references the scene in “The Trouble with Tribbles” where Kirk opens a hatch on a space station and thousands of Tribbles pour out on him.
#110 is a reference to when the crew of the U.S.S Voyager first meets Neelix, he is a scrap scavenger.
Comments 25,41,42,49,50,58,75,76,77,83, and 86 are references to “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”
#41 is about Ford prefect warning Arthur Dent to not push any buttons that he doesn’t know what they do. Arthur ignors Ford, pushes a button and a sign lights up that says Please Do Not Push This Button Again.
#42 refers to a missile attack launched against the Starship Heart of Gold. Arthur activates the Infinite Improbability Drive with out programing it and it results in the missiles being turned into a bowl of petunias and a whale.
#49 refers to Marvin the Paranoid Android parking patron’s ships at Milliway’s, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
#50 is about the description of the Starship Heart of Gold, it’s shaped like a sleek running shoe.
#58 refers to the Infinite Improbability Drive that propels the Heart of Gold.
#75 is about Ford and Zaphod admiring the spaceships in the parking lot of Milliways and #76 is about their subsequent theft of one of the ships
#76 is about the stunt ship used by the plutonium rock band Disaster Area. They fly ships into suns as the climax of their concerts.
#83 is about a line in the book about small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri being real small furry creatures from Alpha Centaurie.
#86 is about Arthur Dent’s idea of what a spaceship should look like.
Comments #24 and 53 are refernces to 2001 a Space Odesey
Comments # 29 and 30 refer to two authors who belive ancient astronauts have visited Earth.
#32 is a reference to a model of car that Ford used to make.
#33 is about the film aliens
#43 is about the film Men In Black
#52 refers to Mystery Science Theater 3000 where a man and two robots are trapped on a spaceship and forced to watch bad movies.
#59 refers to one of John Carpenter’s first films “Dark Star”. The crew of a ship had the job of demolishing planets with highly intelligent bombs. One bomb was going to explode itself inside the ship and they had to talk the bomb out of exploding.
#64 the film Event Horizen
#65 the film Appolo 13
#72 is a reference to a late night talk show that deals with UFOs and other paranormal things
#73 Gilligan’s Island
#81 and 82 refer to Farscape
#85 Red Dwarf
#87 Lost in Space
#94 3rd Rock From The Sun
#95 Oingo boingo used to be a performance art band and they usuall finished their shows with a goodbye song where they blasted off in a spaceship.
#96 Silent Running
#101 and 108 The Black Hole. There was a robot named Vincent.
#102 another Farscape reference
#103 a bad film called the Creeping Terror. A spaceship lands and out comes this huge oriental rug that eats people.
#105 refers to the last episode of The Prisoner.
Across the Sea has filled me with confidence that the Island most definately is not a spaceship.