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Jacob, His cabin, and the metaphor. *Warning Tasteless Humor*

I think jacob and his cabin are a metaphor for the g-spot.

Think about it.

only a very few can find it.

Ben at first claims he knows all about it, only to admit later he’s never actually found it, he just sort of knows where it is supposed to be. (gee, where have we heard this before???)

He shows Locke where it is supposed to be and the whole cabin starts thrashing around because Locke finds it.

This makes Ben very jealous.

But then Locke cant find his way back to it either. But he really really really wants to.

Hurley is confronted with it and it scares the hell out of him, being the virgin he is.

Later we see Locke and he’s like, “dude, i could swear, it was right here.”

Then Locke and Ben consult Hurley to show them the way back due to Hurley’s large knowledge of porn and porn related material, due to being a virgin.

Ilana and her crew come back and says someone has been using it. BURN IT TO THE GROUND. Why? because she was in a jealous rage.

Richard is Like “Whoa, hold on cowboy. You cant BOTH go in there. 1 at a time!”

Lastly, Ben gets very mad when he finds out Locke got some on the first date, when he has been wining and dining for like 30 years. So mad in fact, that he stabs Jacob. A perfectly rational decision based on the extenuating circumstances.

I think the only thing that could have made this any more perfect was if there had been a picture of a cat, rather than a dog in the cabin. If this were the case, There would be no possible way you could convince me otherwise. maybe jacob likes it doggy style? ok, I’ll stop now, I’ve probably already overstepped my boundaries here.

I hope this did not offend anyone, it wasn’t my intent. i just thought of it today and could not stop laughing. Its really just a joke, i do not in any way view hurley as a porn addicted something or other. He was my favorite Character until Desmond showed up. The stereotypes just fit so perfectly. I wish i knew Lindeloff and Cruse’s email.

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Written by

Holdem Caulfield

I'm a lost junkie. My 3 favorite characters are Desmond Hume, Hugo Reyes and Frank Lapidis, in that order. Not a Huge fan of Jack. In fact he annoys the Pi** out of me. I wish he hung out with Locke more, he would probably be dead... just like the writers intended, lol. Favorite episode was "The Constant." Love Texas Hold'em. one of my emails is: holdemcaulfield@hotmail.com

4 thoughts on “Jacob, His cabin, and the metaphor. *Warning Tasteless Humor*

  1. lol it is funny, i was scared to post it, thought i might get myself banned… but it was too funny. people deserve to hear it lol. anyways it’s not really derogatory. well, except for implying the Hurley thing. He’s a millionaire tho. hahaha!

    “Hold on Cowboy!” lmao!

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